Friday, 21 January 2011

The Adventures of Audrey Sparrow Part I

(Audrey wears Papercup Cabana dress in navy floral)

Allow me to introduce myself!  I'm a man of wealth and taste. 

That was terrible.  I'm sorry.  Sorry Mick, sorry Keith, sorry other Rolling Stones members whose names currently escape me - sorry readers.  Allow me to introduce myself, properly; I'm a sometime lyric-stealing, twentysomething (the something is, cough, cough, what IS that behind you?) lady who flits between the supermarket, the office, home and the occasional party with all the finesse and organisation skills of a drunken butterfly.

So you're better equipped to imagine my adventures, here's a brief description of me - I have been described by many as a flame-haired goddess; unfortunately I have also been described by some as reminiscent of the teacher from the 'Magic School Bus' books.  (What was her name?) Have concluded this is obviously because of the spiralling red hair and boundless enthusiasm, not because of any faint tendencies to madness and magic ability. 

(As a side note and further step in the getting-to-know-you process, I should probably let you know that if I could choose a superpower, it would be talking to animals.  Not for any wishy-washy Cinderella-type reason, just because it seems more useful than most of the others.  Invisibility, for example, doesn't let you talk a flock of pigeons into group dive-bombing the cafe that just overcharged you for burnt French toast.)

But I digress; back to the hair.  Most people recognise me by my hair.  We (my hair and I) are easily located in a crowd.  "We'll meet by Audrey's hair," friends spout at music festivals; "if it's dark, we'll get her to stick a sparkler in it and rotate slowly on the spot like a homing beacon."  My hair is lovely and at the same time completely unmanageable, like a puppy or boyfriend, but without the mess of the former or... actually, without the mess of either. 

Underneath the hair is the typical Redhead's Pale Skin (from alabaster to lobster in 60 seconds!), sparkly but otherwise unremarkable brown eyes (behind black-rimmed glasses for the safety of other drivers and/or pedestrians), a nose (big enough to prop aforesaid glasses up on, but not so big that it blocks the ventilation hole on a takeaway coffee cup) and a mouth which, thankfully, is not as wide as that of Julia Roberts.

From there down it's all pretty standard-issue body - except of course that said body is lucky enough to be dressed in stunning clothes from Swonderful!  Clothes which, for one reason or another, seem to lend themselves to Adventures...

Come back next week to hear more about them!

(The Adventures of Audrey Sparrow are written by Ally Mullord, visit her blog- Today is my Birthday!)


Nico said...

Ms. Frizzle is The Magic School Bus teacher and this whole adventure is going to be amazing!

chris.dadness said...

I hope you are going to take us kids on a journey through the alimentary canal or something.